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Just Cut the D*mn Box...

I have a motivation app that I use to help guide me and give me affirmations I need... though, Disappointing Affirmations from Instagram is probably more of my favorite than positive affirmations. Nothing kicks me harder to get my a** up and moving than telling me that I can't do something.

I will politely ask you to hold my root-beer (I don't really drink).

Anyhow, back on the subject. I have a motivation app - this app, particularly.

I like it because I can set it to send me a variety of different types of affirmations, quotes, etc, instead of just one genre. I also have it sent to me in different backgrounds and fonts each time because it keeps my ADHD brain interested by seeing something new each time.

These are just 10 different topics of the categories of positive vibes it sends me: -

  • Accountability

  • Courage

  • Grief

  • Setting Goals

  • Dream Big

  • Hustling

  • Self-Love

  • Uncertainty

  • Missing Someone

  • Proverbs

That last one is the reason why I started writing this little journal post. I got a quote from a Chinese proverb that said,

"Beginning is Easy... Continuing is Hard."

When I read that quote it hit me... not because I love reading from my motivation app, but because this quote was the direct opposite for me. I wrote in another journal post regarding Productivity Dysmorphia, and how I question, overthink, and over analyze every new project I do. It's so hard for me to START a project than it is to continue on and/or finish one. The constant self doubt and anxiety makes me not want to start. When I do take the first leap, however, I always tell myself (which I never seem to learn from): this was easy, why'd I wait so long?

The feeling of shame, pressure, lack of skill or knowledge, anxiety, doubt...this list can go on and on if I wanted to; and boy, it can get really long.

My friend, Erik Curtis, consistently has to tell me how incredibly normal it to overthink and analyze. Not because it's anxiety or panic - well, partly it has to do with this, but because I'm in a Fight / Flight / Freeze mode.

I Freeze in the moment. I want to stay and Fight through, but most of the time I Flee until I'm more comfortable.

And it's OK to Overanalyze and Overthink because if something were to go wrong (because I go through all the "what ifs" in my brain) I have a solution for it ready in my brain.

The thing about me is that if you need a cheerleader or to hype you up: I AM HERE FOR YOU. I will be there to tell you the words you need to hear because YOU, yes you reading this, are an amazing person. You're kind, and generous, and loving and deserve all the best for you. Why? You're sitting here, reading this little journal post of mine. I'm not an influencer. I don't have a hundred thousand followers. I have 4441 subscribers on my youtube and 2883 on my Instagram. HAHAHA. Not an influencer at all... but you're here showing support, so if you need support, I'm here for you.

However, me taking my own advice? It takes awhile. If I'm doing something without having to post about it on Youtube to show, I probably would have so much more confidence. Putting myself out there slows the process down - not just technically, but emotionally. There's a lot of mental preparedness I have to take to hype myself up to do what needs to get done. I'm constantly thinking: I'm probably doing this wrong, I'm going to get ridiculed, what if I mess up? BUT WHO CARES?!

Mistakes are How You Learn

I have made a mistake with every design / project I've done. I still completed it. I just know now what I would do for next time. Ok, I lied... I don't make one single mistake. I make MAAAAAANNNNYYYYY mistakes in a single project. Sometimes many mistakes in one step of the process. It's actually quite laughable. Who actually mistakenly drops the same item on their head 3 times... in a row?

I remember when I was making the roof for my shed. I posted it on TikTok and got a couple nasty comments...mainly from men. They said it looked Horrible, that I was doing it all completely wrong. So I video replied back. :)

One guy did NOT like that at all when I called him out. I wasn't "butt-hurt" about it,

I just needed to state my comment. He stopped commenting. If you don't like the heat back, don't start a fire. I commented saying:

It's my first time - of course it's going to be terrible. But when you first learned to walk, did you run a marathon? No, you probably fell and then got back up. I'm getting back up.

He didn't appreciate me video replying back. Also, I love that the people who give nasty comments are usually from people who have no profile and no videos on their page to show that they know what they're commenting about. It's all a bunch of Troglodyte douches who have Dunning Kruger syndrome. Am I Wrong?

Man, I started this post with genuine thought and a careful mind and heart and now I'm heated about jerks that make unnecessary, and purposefully hateful comments.

I stopped writing to go do other things to calm myself back down. Dove dark chocolate bites with almonds also greatly helps. They're my favorite.


Beginning is not easy - for me. Time and time again, Erik has to tell me and remind me to: Just Cut The Damn Box. Everything I will be building is essentially just a box. A curved box, a round box, a box with no top, a box with a top that can open. A box with a front that can open. It's all essentially just a damn box. And beginning the project may not come easy for me right now... but it will, eventually. When I pick up a new skill, a new tool, a new anything I always question myself. Hopefully one day, as I learn and grow I'll be able to shave off more of the uneasiness that comes my way.

Thanks for staying to read this little blurb of mine. Truly appreciated.

Picture below has no relation to the post above, however, I'm currently missing the warmth from this day as I sit bundled in my bed because I'm freezing.

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